Dear Kate,
Every time I put you down for a nap I hold you in my arms with your furry blanket and hum "I Am a Child of God." If I think it will help, I hum it twice. But then, whether you seem willing or not, I lay you down in your crib.
Sometimes you lie perfectly still on your back exactly where I place you, as though you've already found the most comfortable position possible. Your head turned to the side, you clutch your blanket to your nose, sigh, and close your eyes. It's the sweetest thing.
Of course, there are also times when you writhe angrily to your side and get to your feet in an instant. You grip the bars of your crib like a wrongly accused prisoner. You look to the ceiling, as if to make sure I can
really hear you, and let out a cry that is equal parts fury and helplessness. After a few moments (or minutes), you give up in disgust. You look down at the furry blanket at your feet and plow into it face first. You push the blanket under your belly and, with your little bum in the air, you start getting comfortable. You complain with a whimper or two, but before you know it, you're sound asleep.
And here is my confession: I know this because every time I lay you down for a nap I close the door and watch you through the keyhole. When you stand, your big head and little body fill my view perfectly. When you lie down, I hope you turn your head my way so I can see your rosey cheeks, your mouth open in a tiny "o," and your eyes closed so peacefully. I love to watch your antics, and your surrender. And, most of all, I love to watch you sleeping.
I love you.
Mom
xoxo
