a tribute

This is a tribute to Kim's Aunt Jan (and mine), who died early this morning. She was a wonderful person. Her family, though small, was everything to her. She loved to laugh, especially at herself, and she had a way of making everyone around her feel better about themselves. I'm sure she thought more of Kim and I than we deserve. I had the feeling all day that if I wasn't careful, and lost my temper or something, Aunt Jan would realize her mistake.

I'd been writing The Kitchen Notebook for a few months when I decided Aunt Jan might enjoy it, and sent her the link. Within hours, I got this reply:

Linds, I was reading your blog while eating my lunch [Note to self: do not eat while reading Lindsay's blog. Salad dressing is hard to get off the monitor.] You have to publish that stuff. I loved the titles as much as the content. I must say, I am concerned about your children's lack of vocabulary--cauliflower, persevere--honestly now. Do I catch a little Scottish in their speech? I hope your parents can still fly free because if I were them, I'd be on an airplane every week. I miss you all so much that I went over my lunch time so I could read the entire blog, alternating laughing out loud and crying. It was like a time machine in reverse, and I loved it all. You are doing such a good job as a "Mama." No one is perfect, but you're getting pretty close.

You see what I mean.

When we called her last night, after being informed that she only had hours left, one of the first things she said was, "I don't know what I'll do without The Kitchen Notebook."

"Maybe they'll let you read it," I sobbed. We laughed together.

"Maybe they will."

Or maybe she'll just get to see it in real time, imperfections and all.

We love you, Aunt Jan.